February 17, 2023

3 Shifts to avoid wasting your time and attract the commitment you desire S6E13

3 Shifts to Avoid Wasting Your Time and Attract the Commitment You Desire

There are always signs you are giving your power away during dating and courtship. Although it’s easy to think you are meeting men who aren’t ready for commitment, what’s most important is that you get the clarity and strategies to attract the right kind of guy for you.

Many successful women stay in a cycle of relationship patterns for far too long by shrinking themselves in hopes that a man will claim them. This inauthenticity with relationships does not attract compatible partners. It may work at first, but eventually after the honeymoon phase ends, you will find yourself in hot-cold relationships, attracting men who are emotionally unavailable and won’t commit to an actual relationship, or settling for a relationship that’s less than you deserve.

Being in a cycle of nowhere relationships is exactly what you want to avoid so you are not wasting your time. Unfortunately, many successful career driven women spend years wasting time with men who will not commit to a lasting relationship. They spend years trying to figure out how to get him to commit, just to feel even more clueless about the dating and courtship process and fearful they’ve wasted precious years chasing a man who never wanted commitment.

If you have been in this dating and courtship cycle long enough you may question why your relationship experiences with men don’t get to the next stage of courtship, engagement or marriage. This alone may cause you to feel not good enough, less confident, and worried about experiencing disappointment again and again.

Today, you will learn some of these signs and 3 shifts to make to avoid wasting your time so you can attract the commitment you desire. In this episode you will learn:

  • Why humility does not serve successful women during dating and courtship
  • How to stop wasting time with a relationship that’s going nowhere
  • Attract the right man and find lasting love


3 Shifts to avoid wasting your time and attract the commitment you desire

1. Humility does not serve successful women during dating and courtship

When it comes to dating and courtship, successful women often struggle with the notion of humility. While humility is widely regarded as a virtue, it may not always be the best approach for women who have achieved success in their personal and professional lives. Humility may hinder successful women during dating and courtship and you may find yourself giving your power away in relationships.

Instead, you must know how to embrace a different mindset that can lead to more fulfilling relationships. With a new mindset, you will be able to confidently establish boundaries and expectations without fear of rejection or abandonment. When you are no longer attracting relationships from a place of fear and control, you are free to be vulnerable and attract a compatible partner with authenticity.

3. Stop wasting your time with a relationship that’s going nowhere

Want to know how to not give your power away to a man and a nowhere relationships? If you find yourself questioning whether the relationship is worth pursuing or if it’s heading in the right direction, it may be time to take a step back and evaluate the situation. We will explore practical strategies to help you recognize the signs of a relationship going nowhere and empower you to make informed decisions for your emotional well-being.

There are 3 shifts to explore if you want to avoid wasting your time, and effective strategies to attract the right man into your life and create a fulfilling, long-lasting relationship that transforms your life.

  1. Trust Your Intuition:

Your intuition is a powerful tool when it comes to relationships. If something feels off or you have a nagging feeling that the relationship isn’t progressing, it’s important to trust your gut instincts. Pay attention to red flags or recurring patterns that indicate a lack of growth or mutual investment in the relationship.

But what if you can’t tell the difference between your intuition and your relationship anxiety?

At Captivating Courtship we help our clients tap into the power of your feminine intuition to strengthen your gut instincts so you can trust yourself more. Learning to trust your intuition isn’t easy at first, but with practice and repetition you will become an expert at this feminine superpower. A simple trick to connect with your feminine intuition:

  1. Find a quiet place to sit in stillness.
  2. Place one hand on your heart and the other hand over your belly.
  3. Take in ten deep inhales and exhales as you ask yourself the question you are looking to have an answer for.
  4. Drop into your body and ask yourself the question again.
  5. Notice: Is the response coming from your thoughts (head) or your gut (heart)?
  6. Acceptance: This is the most difficult part. You must accept the response and trust your intuition.
  7. If you are uncertain and still having difficulty, practice this process over again as many times as you need to come to a conclusion.


2. Communicate and Seek Clarity:

Open and honest communication is crucial in any relationship. If you’re feeling uncertain about the direction of your current relationship, have a conversation with your partner to express your concerns and seek clarity. Share your thoughts, desires, and expectations to gauge if you both are on the same page and willing to work towards a mutually satisfying relationship.

Getting clear on the relationship can feel scary, especially if you are anxiously attached. What can cause you to feel more secure is knowing when to have conversations about commitment so that you are approaching the potential relationship from a place of intention and no pressure to commit.

When it comes to courtship and dating, a proven blueprint is better than feeling clueless about courtship. You deserve to know where the relationship is going instead of feeling uncertain and devoting months or years to a situationship. Having a courtship process allows you to have a blueprint for navigating dating and courtship so you know when and how to communicate with your man about commitment in a way that will not push a man away.


3. Prioritize Your Emotional Well-being:

Your emotional well-being should always be a top priority. If the relationship consistently leaves you feeling drained, unfulfilled, or emotionally depleted, it’s important to consider whether it’s worth continuing.

The thing is, many successful women are used to self-sacrificing and carrying lots of responsibilities that they have programmed themselves to come last, even with courtship. When you have been conditioned to place everyone and everything above your own emotional well-being, expecting a man to prioritize you and knowing how to be a priority can be difficult. Especially if you are a hopeless romantic or a doer and giver who tends to prove your worthiness by being loyal and devoted, even when it means you are not being loyal to yourself first.

Remember that you deserve a relationship that adds value to your life and supports your overall happiness and fulfillment. You deserve to be a priority.

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3. Attract the right man and find lasting love

Are you tired of going on endless dates and struggling to find the right man who truly understands and appreciates you? Finding lasting love is a journey that requires intention, self-awareness, and a clear understanding of what you truly desire in a partner.

There are a few steps you can take right now to get you on the path to love and commitment:

Defining Your Ideal Partner – Before embarking on the journey to finding lasting love, it’s crucial to gain clarity on your ideal partner. Reflect on the values, qualities, and characteristics that are important to you in a relationship. By defining your ideal partner, you create a roadmap that guides you towards attracting the right man who aligns with your vision for a fulfilling relationship.

Cultivating Self-Love and Confidence – Attracting the right man starts with cultivating a deep sense of self-love and confidence. Explore practices and techniques that promote self-care, boost self-esteem, and enhance your overall well-being. By nurturing your own happiness and embracing your unique qualities, you radiate an irresistible energy that naturally attracts compatible partners.

Expanding Your Social Circles and Dating Mindfully – To attract the right man, it’s important to expand your social circles and engage in mindful dating practices. Explore avenues for meeting new people, such as social events, online platforms, or interest-based groups. Learn strategies for mindful dating, including active listening, observing red flags, and staying true to your values. By approaching dating with intention and authenticity, you increase the likelihood of connecting with a compatible partner.

If you have a thriving career yet you struggle with patterns of relationships…

Imagine attracting men effortlessly and saying goodbye to your single life. Attracting the right man and finding lasting love is a transformative journey that begins with self-awareness, clarity, and self-love. By knowing yourself, defining your ideal partner, cultivating self-confidence, fostering healthy boundaries, and expanding your social circles, you create the opportunity to meet someone who aligns with your vision and desires for a fulfilling relationship. If you’re ready to take the next step and attract your perfect match, book an “Attract Your Match” consultation to gain personalized insights and guidance tailored to your specific needs.

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Stop Giving Your Energy Away Quotes:


Questions? Send Zara a message on Instagram

meet the host

Relationship coach, author, creator of the Captivating Courtship Code

I’m passionate about improving the state of women’s relationships because a happy, healthy, loved and valued woman not only transforms her love life but has the power and impact to transform her family tree for generations to come. 

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