March 29, 2021

Toxic Love Loop Testimonial: How One Client Healed from Past Toxic Marriage w/the Captivating Courtship Code S4E15


Attracting the same type of men every time is saying something about your present choices. On today’s episode, Ayesha, a student of the Captivating Courtship Code, shares her experience of healing from a toxic marriage in her past and becoming emotionally available again.

To begin with, just like most of us, she thought, “There are no good men out there for me” or “Why do I attract the same toxic men every time?”. It was not until the quarantine that she had the space and time to reflect internally. She used this time to connect with herself. She realized the need to be healthy – mind, body, soul – in order to attract healthy relationships.

Ayesha had been to therapy and found it helpful with her mental health. However, coaching equipped her with the skills needed to navigate courtship after living through a toxic marriage. Unlike therapy, coaching was specific to her needs, it was structured and action-oriented.

While working on herself, she realized that she wanted to be a woman of power who did not have to dominate someone to prove a point. She believes that to date, she gets through her rough days because of the self-work she did back then.

Unlike her previous relationships, she has valuable men courting her now. What’s different this time is how secure, safe, and confident she feels while being courted. She knows she wants a partner but one who is authentically aligned with her values and belief system. In an impactful statement, Ayesha says that despite being the one pursued, the power of choice is with her as her anxieties and avoidance are not controlling her anymore.

It truly can get chaotic and emotionally overwhelming trying to heal from a past toxic relationship but Ayesha tells us there is a bright light at the end of what might initially seem like an endless tunnel. These feelings are valid and it is necessary to hold space for them.

Tune into today’s episode for a deeper glance at Ayesha’s healing and her fresh start with the courtship process!

Time Stamps for this episode:

00:00 – Introduction
2:25 – Ayesha’s Introduction
3:15 – How she decided that she was ready to work on herself
4:57 – “There’s no good men out there” were her initial thoughts
5:30 – The effect quarantine had on her self reflection
6:09 – Healthy attracts healthy
6:49 – How she became a part of the Captivating Courtship Code Community
8:00 – Ayesha felt the need of courtship skills
10:00 – Therapy VS Coaching
13:52 – Changes she started seeing in herself
17:15 – She did not want to dominate to prove a point
19:02 – How she gets through rough days even now
20:27 – Her current take on her dating life
23:47 – How she feels about the options she has now VS the experiences she’s had
26:26 – What to do when there are no red flags
30:00 – Conclusion

Links mentioned in this episode:


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Instagram @zarajcaptivatingcourtship

meet the host

Relationship coach, author, creator of the Captivating Courtship Code

I’m passionate about improving the state of women’s relationships because a happy, healthy, loved and valued woman not only transforms her love life but has the power and impact to transform her family tree for generations to come. 

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