June 4, 2024

Too Good Love Loop relationship pattern 101 S7E22

Too Good Love Loop Relationship Pattern 101

Those with the Too Good Love Loop relationship pattern tend to be very confident on the surface, while deep down inside secretly struggling with low self-worth particularly when it comes to getting emotional needs met. Vulnerability, empathy and communicating relationship needs are some of the core wounds and challenges a Too Good must face while navigating the dating and courtship process. 

Too Goods have a deep fear of failure and choosing the right partner which often results in a fear of missing out. These subconscious beliefs make the decision to commit to a long-term relationship or marriage very scary, so they are often long term single or moving from one short-term relationship/situationship to the next. 

If you have the Too Good Love Loop relationship pattern, you typically control the outcome of the relationship instead of allowing connection and attraction to naturally flow towards commitment. Especially if the other party is seriously interested, ready for commitment and pursuing you. You are more likely to invest in a complicated relationship than one that is eager to commit.

That’s because this Love Loop is red flag and flaw focused, and will convince themselves that they are too good for most of the partners they meet, especially the ones who are eager to commit. This can make a Too Good appear emotionally unavailable, inauthentic, or perfectionists who have a lack of empathy for giving grace to others the same way they offer grace and patience for their own flaws.

Top 7 Too Good Love Loop qualities:

  1. Flaw and red flag focused
  2. Fear of commitment due to fear of failure
  3. Lacks clarity with courtship process and authentically compatible partners
  4. Long term single (especially after heartbreak)
  5. Not good with prioritizing relationships or others’ needs
  6. Loves the thrill of chase and the honeymoon phase
  7. In search of perfection


In this blog you will learn the basics of the Too Good Love Loop relationship pattern and some practical steps to have more successful relationships.

More Podcasts and Blogs You May Like:

Love Loops 101

Dating and Courtship Burnout Loop

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Too Good Love Loop relationship pattern 101

In this episode you will learn all about the Too Good Love Loop relationship pattern and how to navigate courtship and dating with this pattern so you can attract love and marriage.


“Where do I meet the right partner?”

A common question a Too Good Love Loop will ask is, “Where do I meet the right partner?” or “I already know what I’m looking for in someone, I just don’t know where to meet them.”

However, if you have this relationship pattern, where to meet a potential mate is actually the least of your relationship challenges. Unlike many of the other Love Loop patterns, Too Goods typically prioritize having a captivating life. You love to put your own social and self-care needs first. You are great with socializing and going after the life and achievements you desire so there’s no need to put extra emphasis on this aspect of the dating and courtship process.

Too Goods are viewed as the social butterflies of the 8 Love Loop relationship patterns, and can simply use this natural super power of being a socialite to place them in rooms and social circles to meet potential partners. Even for Too Goods who lean more introverted, their close friends circles, career networks and other intimate settings provides them an opportunity to work the room with confidence and charm to attract and draw people in.

That’s why asking where or how to meet someone is not what you should focus on if commitment is the actual goal. The deeper questions will be centered around why do you want commitment? Why would this person be a good match for you? Why is now the right time to say yes to love? Or, what do you need to communicate about your feelings so you can get your needs met and someone can know your internal world?

These questions will open a Too Good up to more introspection and self-reflection to examine their thoughts and emotions when they feel triggered to exit a potential relationship or reject partners who are actually commitment ready, instead of avoiding commitment and pushing emotional intimacy away. 


Embracing Vulnerability: The Benefits of Looking Beyond Red Flags in Dating

In the world of modern dating, the concept of “red flags” has become a common topic of conversation. Red flags, or warning signs indicating potential problems in a relationship, are often emphasized in dating advice. While it’s crucial to be aware of genuine red flags, an overemphasis on finding flaws can hinder the development of a meaningful connection. Instead, allowing yourself to be more vulnerable and emotionally available can transform your dating experience and build a deeper, more authentic connection.

When you shift your focus away from scrutinizing for flaws, you create space for genuine connections to flourish. Constantly searching for red flags can create a guarded, defensive approach to dating, which hinders emotional intimacy. By being open and present, you allow yourself and your partner to engage more authentically, fostering a deeper emotional bond.

Focusing on flaws can make you emotionally unavailable, as you may build walls to protect yourself from potential hurt. However, vulnerability is key to forming strong relationships. When you are emotionally available, you show your true self, which encourages your partner to do the same. This mutual openness builds trust and understanding, essential components of a lasting relationship.

An overemphasis on red flags can set unrealistic expectations for perfection in a partner, which no one can meet. When you constantly are looking for red flags can foster a negative mindset, focusing on what might go wrong rather than what is going right. This can create unnecessary anxiety and stress. Shifting your perspective to appreciate the positive aspects of your partner and the relationship can lead to a more fulfilling and joyful dating experience.

By accepting that everyone has flaws, you reduce the pressure on both yourself and your partner. This acceptance creates a more relaxed and enjoyable dating environment, where both individuals can be themselves without fear of constant judgment.

When you are not preoccupied with finding faults, you are more likely to engage in open and honest communication. Instead of jumping to conclusions based on perceived red flags, you can address concerns calmly and constructively. This approach fosters a healthy dialogue, where both partners feel heard and valued.

Learning to date with an open heart promotes personal growth. It challenges you to confront your fears and insecurities, leading to greater self-awareness and emotional maturity. By embracing vulnerability, you learn to navigate the complexities of relationships, which helps you develop resilience and empathy.

While it’s important to be mindful of genuine red flags that indicate harmful behaviors, focusing too much on potential flaws can prevent you from experiencing the full potential of a relationship. Embracing vulnerability and emotional availability allows for deeper connections, personal growth, and a more positive and fulfilling dating experience. By looking beyond red flags, you open the door to authentic relationships where love and trust can truly thrive. 

So, the next time you find yourself getting to know someone new, try to be present and open-hearted. You might just discover a connection that surpasses your expectations, leading to a relationship built on mutual understanding and emotional richness.

3 Shifts to transform the Too Good Love Loop relationship pattern:

The number one tip we give to clients’ with the Too Good Love Loop is that they must deconstruct how and who you’ve been programmed to commit to. Tap into your empathy and curiosity not only about the people you meet but about your own choices when it comes to attraction and commitment. If you have any societal, family, or past programming that’s driving your subconscious beliefs about who would be the right partner for you or the perfect time to commit, you may be blocking love.

Instead, question everything you know about love and relationships. Try being more open minded and challenge old beliefs or your typical type. When you are willing to take this leap and risk perfection you will align with the love you deserve.

Here are 3 tips to get started:

Heal and open your Heart – Opening your heart can significantly enhance emotional connection and allow love to flow more freely. The heart is associated with love, compassion, and emotional balance. When it is open, you become more capable of giving and receiving love without fear or hesitation. You will foster empathy and understanding, helping you connect deeply with others. By releasing past emotional blockages and embracing vulnerability, you create space for genuine, heartfelt connections. An open heart encourages trust and acceptance, allowing you to experience and express love more fully and authentically.

Get clear on your Vision of Love – Having a clear vision of love provides a solid foundation for feeling ready and confident in commitment. When you understand what love means to you and what you desire in a relationship, you can approach dating and courtship with clarity and purpose. This vision helps you identify compatible partners who share your values and goals. Knowing what you want in love allows you to communicate your needs effectively and set healthy boundaries. As a result, you enter relationships with confidence, reducing uncertainty and fostering a sense of security and readiness for a committed partnership.

Get clear on your Visionary Partner – Having a clear idea of your ideal partner, or visionary partner, boosts your confidence in being emotionally available and committed to a relationship. This clarity helps you recognize and attract individuals who align with your values, interests, and long-term goals. Knowing what you want in a partner reduces ambiguity and doubt, allowing you to open up emotionally without fear of misalignment. It empowers you to communicate openly and set healthy boundaries, fostering a secure environment where you feel safe to commit and build a meaningful, lasting connection.

Transforming the Too Good Love Loop relationship patterns

Sometimes, transforming your relationship patterns requires guidance. The Loop is the community that provides tools and techniques to effectively manage and heal from past traumas and negative patterns. Inside The Loop you will  access our signature workshops and processes for the 8 Love Loop relationship patterns, breakups, burnout, and situationships that have been proven to help our clients attract love and marriage.

You can break the burnout courtship loop, transform relationship patterns and align with your vision of love. Captivating Courtship has proven tools to help you no matter where you are in your journey of love.



Take the FREE Love Loop assessment, DM, “QUIZ” to @captivatingcourtship on Instagram
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meet the host

Relationship coach, author, creator of the Captivating Courtship Code

I’m passionate about improving the state of women’s relationships because a happy, healthy, loved and valued woman not only transforms her love life but has the power and impact to transform her family tree for generations to come. 

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